Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest,
chickens in motion tend to cross roads.

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they are
now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road
or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon
your frame of reference.

Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken
cross the road? But is rather, "Who was crossing the
road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste
to observe the chicken crossing?"

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
insecurity.

Bashar al-Assad: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion
and we were quite justified in dropping nerve gas on it.

Heisenberg: Because the chicken is moving very fast, you
can either observe the chicken or you can measure its
speed, but you cannot do both.
 
Jean Foucault: It didn't. The rotation of the earth made
it appear to cross.

Galileo: To get a better look at the stars.

Ohm: There was more resistance on this side of the road.

Pascal: It was pressured to cross the road.

Volta: The other side had more potential.

Hawking: There exist numerous parallel universes in
which the same chicken is in differing stages of
crossing the road. Only when one of the chickens has
completed crossing the road do their avian functions
coalesce.
 
Courtesy: Arcamax