Discovery Of The Century!

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new
element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces
called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert;
however, it can be detected because it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. In the
presence of a tiny amount of Governmentium, a
reaction that would normally take less than a second
can take between four days and four years to
complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six
years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of morons promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed
whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"critical morass."
 
Courtesy: BWJokes