Thursday, 22 October 2015

Made For Each Other!!

They're perfectly matched ...
... he's a history professor and she likes dates.

... he's a comedian and her whole life is a joke.

... she's a clown and he looks funny.

... she likes to jog and he's on the run.

... she's a geologist and he has rocks in his head.

... she's a mermaid and there's something fishy about him.

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

I was asked to provide a reference for a former employee
who was infamous for doing nothing. On the form was the
question: "Was this person a steady worker?"

I entered, "Not just steady, but motionless".

Monday, 30 March 2015

Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A: Newly Webs


Q: Two men meet as one is going into a rest room and the other
is coming out. What are their nationalities?
A: One is Russian and the other is Finnish.


All I can find is this old wrapping paper. Oh well, I guess
it'll have to do for the present.

Friday, 27 March 2015

I work for an airline reservations office and was describing
the rules for a deep-discount airfare to a customer. I ended
by saying "This fare doesn't allow any checked baggage."

"That's okay," the customer responded quickly. "Mine are

Thursday, 26 March 2015

How to manage a Football Team!

The University of North Carolina football team has
announced plans to expand to three squads next year.
One squad will play offense, another will play defense
and the third will attend classes.