Hilarious observations of life that U will enjoy

1. A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
2. I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
3. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
4. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
7. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
8. If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
9. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
10. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
11. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
12. Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.