Enjoy witticism of Oscar Wilde

• My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
• The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.
• Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
• We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
• There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book.  Books are well written or badly written.
• But what is the difference between literature and journalism?
  Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.  That is all.
• America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
• Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
• It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.  People are either charming or tedious.
• Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.
• Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
• Who, being loved, is poor?
• I always pass on good advice.  It is the only thing to do with it.  It is never of any use to oneself.

Enjoy the satire

A marketing type managed to corner me at the mall and was asking a series of survey questions:
"Which shaving cream do you use?"
"Baba's." The interviewer dutifully recorded my answer and proceeded with the next question.
"Which aftershave do you use?"
"Baba's."
"Which deodorant do you use?"
"Baba's."
"Which toothpaste do you use?"
"Baba's."
"Which shampoo do you use?"
"Baba's."
"Which soap do you use?"
"Baba's."
"Thank you. I have one final question: tell me please, What is Baba's? Is it a foreign company?"
"No, Baba is my roommate."

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Gardening tips will make U laugh

"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes.  And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."


Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.


My wife's a water sign.  I'm an earth sign.
Together we make mud. 

What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.