When Daddy Cooks!

One Sunday morning when my son was about 5, we were attending church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible.
This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.
My child immediately raised his hand and said, "It means Daddy's cooking dinner."

---

Collected Gems - 8

Many a woman who thinks she has purchased a
dress for a ridiculous price has actually
bought it for an absurd figure.

When Mother was ill, Father volunteered to go to
the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a
carefully numbered list. Dad returned shortly,
very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack
the grocery bags.
 

 He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three
hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of
crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

Not in my life-time

Old Andrzej was a minister in a small Polish town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions Andrzej would like to ask.
Old Andrzej did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?"
God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time."
Andrzej thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one day?"
Again God had to disappoint Old Andrzej: "Not in your life-time, I'm afraid."
Andrzej was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having though for a while, he asked the last question: "Will there ever be another Polish pope?"
God answered quickly and with a firm voice: "Not in my life-time."