ELEMENTARY!

Elementary school test question: "Name the four major
directions."
One student's answer: "Listen carefully. Write neatly.
Sit up straight. Raise your hand."

You know, today's appliances just can't compete with the
quality of those made years ago. For example, I've still
got the iron from when I was first married forty years
ago, and there’s not a thing wrong with it. Of course,
it's never been out of the box ...

With all the staff on vacation, the cemetery was able to
manage with a skeleton crew. But it was quite an
undertaking.
  
It's always sad when poor people try to bring cats along
for space travel. They often can't handle the Cat Astro
Fee.


I'm sick of those pesky stinging insect mounds in my
yard. I'm considering  a move to the Lesser Antilles.

Laugh at the wisdom !

Two blondes were riding around looking for a place to
have a picnic. One blonde said, "Hey, lets have a
picnic over there under that tree."
"No, no, lets have it in the middle of the road."
They finally decided to have the picnic in the center
of the road. Not long afterwards a car came speeding
towards them, saw them picnicking on the road directly
ahead, swerved off the road and ran into the tree.
The second blonde said, "See? If we were over there,
we'd be dead right now."

God Bless U!

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really CAN make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God's grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

And the blessing of God the Supreme Majesty and our Creator, Jesus Christ the Incarnate Word who is our brother and Saviour, and the Holy Spirit, our Advocate and Guide, be with you and remain with you, this day and forevermore.

AMEN.