I was asked to provide a reference for a former employee
who was infamous for doing nothing. On the form was the
question: "Was this person a steady worker?"
I entered, "Not just steady, but motionless".

Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A: Newly Webs
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Q: Two men meet as one is going into a rest room and the other
is coming out. What are their nationalities?
A: One is Russian and the other is Finnish.
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All I can find is this old wrapping paper. Oh well, I guess
it'll have to do for the present.