Banks for everyone!

Hogs keep their money in piggy banks.
Londoners keep their money in fog banks.
Fish keep their money in river banks.
Polar bears keep their money in snow banks.
Vampires keep their money in blood banks.
Trees keep their money in bank branches.
... and Chicago Cubs fans used to keep their
money in Ernie Banks.

Go elsewhere!

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 80?
A: "Counsellor."
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
A: "Your Honor."
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60?
A: "Congressman."
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: "Senator."
 
NOTE: This is a nonpartisan joke list. If you
want to see the one about a lawyer with an IQ
of 40 being called "Mr. President" you'll have
to go elsewhere.

Better than Heaven!

A widower went to a psychic to see if he could
contact his late wife. The psychic went into a
trance. A strange breeze wafted through the
darkened room. Suddenly, the man heard the
unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.
"Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Are you happy?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Happier than you were with me?"
"Yes, my husband ... much happier!"
"Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"
"Uhhh ... I'm not in Heaven, dear."