He knows you!

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.

The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"

The woman turns to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!"

The patrolman said, "May I see your license?"

The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave him her license.

The patrolman said, "I see you are from Texas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."

The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"

The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"

Mother-in-law!

A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
 
To everyone s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away . 

Weren t you afraid? one of the workers asked the boy.
 
Not at all, the boy replied , I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.

The frickin' lion!

I took my son to the zoo. As we were walking around
viewing the animals in the nature compounds, he
pointed to a lion. "Look, Dad, there's a frickin'
lion!"
"What?"
"It's a frickin' lion!"
"Uhh ... how did you come up with that?"
"It's on the sign over there."
Sure enough, posted on the fence was a sign that read,
"African Lion."