What a puzzle!

One morning a blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."

Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"

The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The friend figures he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She let him in and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box.

He then turns to her and says, "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture ofthat tiger."

"Second, I'd advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!

Learn your Geography!

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe .
Well developed and open to trade, especially
for someone of real value.
 
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece , gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain , with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel , has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada ,
self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
 
After 70, she becomes Tibet .. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.....
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

Tit Bits

Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons

What's the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?
Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?
Man: My wife...

Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I love u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.


Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!