Caution! is the word

There was an unexpected knock on my door, and as I
always do I first opened the peephole and asked,
"Who's there?" "UPS, ma'am. I have a package that
needs a signature."
"Where's the package?" I asked suspiciously.
The delivery man held it up.
"Could I see some ID?" I said, still not convinced.
"Lady," he replied wearily, "if I wanted to break
into your house, I'd probably just use these." And
he pulled out the keys I had left in the door.

Scientific thoughts!

It is so hot in some parts of the world that the
people there have to live in other places.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still
knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let
them know we know they are there.
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a
dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

Laugh heartily - 1

Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in
an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy
can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things
like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now, I've
forgotten my e-mail password, my address, my mother's
maiden name and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat.
You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine
isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other
day. I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock
class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said,
"Listen, lady ... do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited
about nothing. And then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress
are eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast.
Are they kidding?!? That's my idea of a perfect day!

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing
neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying
a noose around your neck?

Courtesy: Arca Max