These Acronyms will make U laugh

AOL

Always off line

ISDN

It Still Does Nothing

APPLE

Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI

System Can't See It

DOS

Defective Operating System

BASIC

Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM

I Blame Microsoft

DEC

Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM

Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly

OS/2

Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW

World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH

Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM

Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math

COBOL

Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA

A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP

Lots of Infuriating Silly Parenthesis

MIPS

Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT

Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

So Punctual!

After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date,
Sarah decided she had been stood up.
Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas
and slippers, fixed some popcorn and hot chocolate, and
resigned herself to an evening of TV.
No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV when the
doorbell rang. Her dad went to the door, and there stood her
date.
He took one look at Sarah on the couch and gasped. "I'm two
hours late and she's still not ready?"
 
Courtesy: Doc's Daily Chuckle

Him! And Him! And Him!

The minister and the church board called a special meeting of the congregation to explain some desperate needs of the building that had to be fixed before winter set in - roof, boiler, etc. "The board approved that we should take a special offering today to get these repairs underway right away. As they pass the plates to you, I promise that the one who gives the greatest offering will be allowed to pick 3 hymns for next week's service."

The plates were passed and brought to the minister, who discovered a $1,000 bill on top. "Oh my!, how wonderful! Who gave this $1,000 bill?"

A little old lady in the back shyly raised her hand. "Oh Mabel, how generous you are! How blessed we are! Come up and let us thank you!"

When Mabel got to the front with all the applause of the congregation, the minister invited her to select the hymns she wanted.

Mabel slowly turned around to face the congregation, stretched out her arm and said, "I pick him! And him! And him! 

Courtesy:Steve Sanderson.