Now Blond Men !

 A friend told a blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
 The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
 

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
 One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
 The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
 
 A blond man  is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
 He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
 

  A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
 "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
 The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
 The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
 

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
 It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
 He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. 

Courtesy: Martha Northrup

Dear All

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma stinks.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo!
it." Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there
because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got
a little busy, OK?
Sincerely,
The Mayans  

 Courtesy: nat.

Win 2 Lose

The Ferrari F1 Racing Team recently fired the whole pit crew
to employ some young unemployed youths from Liverpool. The
decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how
unemployed youths in the Liverpool area can remove a set of
car wheels in less than four seconds without proper
equipment. This was thought to be a good move as most races
are won and lost in the pits these days, and Ferrari would
thus have an advantage.

However, Ferrari soon encountered a major problem: Not only
were the lads changing the tires in under four seconds, but
within another ten seconds had also repainted, renumbered,
and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team.  
 Courtesy: Steve Sanderson.