Brief Blond Blurbs

 Two blondes living in the Midwest were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'


A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly..
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'


There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.' 

Courtesy: Randy C.

Too Impressive !

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very swank
and impressive Italian restaurant.

He ordered one of the more expensive bottles of wine on the
menu, and the two chatted as they sipped from their glasses.

Finally, he picked up the menu again and studied it with a
fine eye. When the waiter came for the order, the young man
confidently said, "We'll both have the Guiseppe
Spomdalucci."

"I'm sorry, sir," said the waiter, "but that's the owner."
 

 Courtesy: Doc's Daily Chuckle.

Facts R Sometimes Funny - II

• If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
  If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.
  If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes
• Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4: John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
• Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
  A. Their birthplace
• Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
  A. Obsession
• Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?
  A. One thousand
• Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
  A. All were invented by women.
• Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
  A. Honey
• Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
  A. Father's Day
• In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'
• It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
• In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' ... It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
• Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramiccups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.