Virtues Of An Avid Golfer

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.

"I'm dying here and you're putting?" "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you.

"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.

"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.

Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"

The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day,is it?

Courtesy : Martha Northrup

Mother of all Blunders

It seems that a young man volunteered for Navy service
during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for
aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola, skipping boot
camp. The very first day at Pensacola, he soloed and was the
best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his
gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier
in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly
shot down six Japanese zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000
ft., he found nine more Japanese planes and shot them all
down, too. Noting that his fuel was getting low, he
descended, circled the carrier, and came in for a perfect
landing on the deck.

He threw back the canopy, climbed out, and jogged over to
the captain. Saluting smartly, he said, "Well, sir, how did
I do on my very first day?"

The captain turned around, bowed, and replied, "You make one
velly impoltant mistake!"
 
Courtesy: Big Mac Clean Joke Attack.

Facts R Sometimes Funny

• Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. 
• Coca-Cola was originally green. 
• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
• The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
• The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
• The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
• The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
• Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
• The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
• The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
  Spades - King David
  Hearts - Charlemagne
  Clubs - Alexander, the Great
  Diamonds - Julius Caesar

         Courtesy :  Randy C.