Lion Chasing!

A man was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of
people running toward him. He stopped one of the runners and
asked, "What's happening?"

The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from
the city zoo."

"Oh no! Which way is it heading?"

"Well, you don't think we're chasing it, do you?"

  Courtesy: Becky Day.

God's Address

Durng "children's time" in the worship service, the kids
came forward and the pastor, wanting to teach about prayer,
asked, "How can we talk with God?"

The pastor produced paper and envelope and said, "Maybe we
can write God a letter. Does anyone know God's address?"

The group said no.

Then the pastor pulled out his cell phone and said, "Maybe
we can telephone God. Does anyone know God's phone number?"

The response was again negative.

Then the pastor displayed his laptop computer and said,
"Maybe we can send God an e-mail!"

A little five-year-old boy enthusiastically said, "Yeah, try
www-dot-God-dot-com!"

Courtesy:  Doc's Daily Chuckle.

Keeping Straight Face In Court

     Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
     A: By death.
     Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
 
     Q: Can you describe the individual?
     A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
     Q: Was this a male, or a female?
 
     Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
     A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

     Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
     A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 
     Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school  did you go to?      
     A: Oral.
 
     Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
     A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
     Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
     A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

     Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 
     Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
     A: No.
     Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
     A: No.
     Q: Did you check for breathing?
     A: No.
     Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
     A: No.
     Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
     A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
     Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
     A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.