Key Trouble!

A friend of mine recently went on a trip and had to stop at a rest area on the Interstate. She took her keys, left her purse and cell phone in her car, and went to the restroom.
When she returned, her remote wouldn't unlock the door and she panicked. "What am I going to do? My cell phone is still in the car and I can't call Onstar!"
Another traveler nearby overhearing this asked, "Have you tried the key?"

Charity begins at home!

My friend called a venetian blind repairman to come pick up a faulty blind. The next morning, while the family was at breakfast, the doorbell rang. My friend's wife went to the door, and the man outside said, "I'm here for the venetian blind."

Excusing herself in a preoccupied way, the wife went to the kitchen, fished a dollar from the food money, pressed it into the repairman's hand, then gently closed the door and returned to the table.

"Somebody collecting," she explained, pouring the coffee.

Nuggets of laughter

My mother once gave me two sweaters for Christmas. The
next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we
entered her house, instead of the expected smile, she
said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"




"Nine-one-one. What's the nature of your emergency?"

"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?"

"No, you idiot, this is her husband!"