Mother-in-law!

A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
 
To everyone s astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away . 

Weren t you afraid? one of the workers asked the boy.
 
Not at all, the boy replied , I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.

The frickin' lion!

I took my son to the zoo. As we were walking around
viewing the animals in the nature compounds, he
pointed to a lion. "Look, Dad, there's a frickin'
lion!"
"What?"
"It's a frickin' lion!"
"Uhh ... how did you come up with that?"
"It's on the sign over there."
Sure enough, posted on the fence was a sign that read,
"African Lion."

Long Happy Life!

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on
his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,"she said.
"What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also
drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never
exercise."
"That's amazing,"the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
 Courtesy: Thomas Ellsworth.