Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.
The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"
He feels the conclusion is obvious.

Collected Gems – 5

"Nothing raises a golf score like witnesses."

Fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-
strong.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Protestants:  Worker ants out to overthrow the queen.
Concentrate: A special penny postage rate available
only to prisoners at federal prisons.

Humour is for enjoyment

My family physician told me of an incident that
actually happened to him back in the early days
of his practice. He said a woman brought her baby
to see him, and he determined right away that the
baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for
ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two
drops in right ear every four hours" abbreviating
"right" as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with
her baby, complaining that the baby still had an
earache, and his little behind was getting really
greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and
sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the
instructions on the label as: "Put two drops in
R ear every four hours."