How to get better grades!

The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school.
One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her
on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my
daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going
to get a spanking."

Courtesy:Pastor Tim

"Hey, Dad, good news!" "Oh?" "Remember you promised to pay me ten dollars if I passed
math?" "Yes ... ?" "Well, I spared you the expense!"
 

Why God Never Received Tenure

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

Enjoy the Satire

Studies show American students are becoming less
proficient in math. Experts say we should have
seen this coming, but nobody could put two and
two together.

 Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your "X".
She's never coming back.
And don't ask "Y".

My dental appointment was two weeks after my husband's,
and our dentist noticed that we had both needed work on
the same tooth.
"He and I have a lot in common after 32 years of
marriage," I said.
"But this is more than a coincidence," the dentist
noted. "It must be dental telepathy."
 
  Q: What's the difference between an etymologist\
and an entomologist?
A: The etymologist knows the difference