Why God Never Received Tenure

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

Enjoy the Satire

Studies show American students are becoming less
proficient in math. Experts say we should have
seen this coming, but nobody could put two and
two together.

 Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your "X".
She's never coming back.
And don't ask "Y".

My dental appointment was two weeks after my husband's,
and our dentist noticed that we had both needed work on
the same tooth.
"He and I have a lot in common after 32 years of
marriage," I said.
"But this is more than a coincidence," the dentist
noted. "It must be dental telepathy."
 
  Q: What's the difference between an etymologist\
and an entomologist?
A: The etymologist knows the difference

Do U like Satire - Last Part

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. ~ Doug Hamwell

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport ~ Jonathan Winters

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley

Courtesy : Martha Northrup