I Like The Way U Think

This is a story about Johnnie's day at school....Johnnie's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."
Johnnie raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I know it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnnie, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."
Next the teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnnie's teacher.
Johnnie raised his hand again and said, "Teacher, teacher, I know it's an orange rubber ball." The teacher looked at Johnnie and said, "No Johnnie, it's an orange, but I like the way that you think."
Johnnie was now getting the hang of it so he asked the teacher if he could try one. Johnnie grabbed an object and put it behind his back and said, "I have something behind my back. It's pink in color and it's LONG. It's soft, but it's HARD."
The teacher, getting upset, yelled at Johnnie, "Now Johnnie, I'm going to have to tell the principal about this perverted behavior." Johnnie stopped her and said, "But, teacher all I have is my pink eraser, but I like the way that you THINK!!!"

Dirt Cheap!

Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person. "However, if you're over 65," he said, " the price will be only $5.50."
 
From the back of the congregation, a woman's voice rang out,"Do you really think I'd give you that information for only 50 cents?"
 
Courtesy: Thomas Ellsworth.

Are you sure this is where he fell in?'

An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the   preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?' The drunk shouts, 'Yes, I am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't found Jesus.' The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus me brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No, I haven't found Jesus.' By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the    water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?' The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you sure this is where he fell in?' Courtesy: Martha Northrup