SARCASTIC HUMOUR ON POLITICS

During his recent visit to the UK Mikhail Gorbachev was taken on a tour of a typical British factory by the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.
The tour started at 9:00 am and the factory was just starting to fill with employees...
GORBY: "What these people do?"
MAGGIE: "Oh, they are just starting work!"
GORBY: "AAAARRggghhh! In Russia, start at 5:00 am"
So, they walk around for a while, viewing some machinery and at 10:30 a hooter sounds and the factory workers leave.
G: "Where they go?"
M: "Oh, it is morning tea time. They have a break for 20 minutes."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! In Russia, no morning tea."
At 12:00 noon the two VIP's are viewing plans for a new factory and a hooter sounds and the factory workers leave, again.
G: "Where they go now?"
M: "Oh, it is lunch time. They take a break for an hour."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! One hour. In Russia, is ten minutes lunch."
At precisely 2:15 pm a hooter sounds, and again the workers leave the factory.
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! Another break, nyet?"
M: "Yes, another break. They get 20 minutes afternoon smoke!"
At 4:30 pm another hooter sounds and the factory grinds to a halt.
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! Another break?"
M: "No, they've finished for the day."
G: "In Russia start at 5:00 am, no breaks, ten minutes lunch, no breaks, work till 7:00 pm at night. Right through, no breaks. Why you not make them work harder?"
M: "Oh, we can't do that!"
G: "Why you can't make them work harder?"
M: "Because they're all communists."

LAUGH AND ENJOY

"Vernon, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to
the little boy while holding out her hand.
 
"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.
 
 
"Vernon, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you
really expect me to believe that?"
 
"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted the boy. "I had
to force him, but he ate it!"
 
 Courtesy: Thomas Ellsworth.

WITTICISM EVERYBODY WILL ENJOY

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, We re about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?

The first guy said that he wasn t much for betting, but agreed to the terms. The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest. The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.
 
The pro said, Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? The Priest said, Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I' ll marry them.

Courtesy: Martha Northrup