MAKE IT GRADUAL

A bachelor who lived at home with his mother and pet cat went on a trip to Europe. Before he left he told his best friend to inform him of any emergencies. A few days after his departure, his cat climbed up on the roof, fell off and was killed. His friend immediately wired him with the message: "Your cat died!"

In a few hours he was back home, having cut short his trip in grief and anger at his friend, whom he told "Why didn't you break the news to me gradually? You know how close I was to my cat! You could have sent a message 'Your cat climbed up on the roof today', and the next day you could've written, 'Your cat fell off the roof' and let me down slowly that he died."

After a quick memorial service, the bachelor left again to continue his trip. A few days later he returns to his hotel and there is a message waiting for him from his friend. He read, "Your mother climbed up on the roof today."

Famous Repartee - ABRAHAM LINCLON Vs STEPHEN DOUGLAS

after Douglas called him two-faced during a debate

Courtesy: Martha Northrup

2 LANES OR 4 LANES

A man was walking along a deserted beach one day and found a strange looking bottle lying in the sand. He looked up and down the beach and didn't see anyone who might have dropped it, so he decided to open the bottle.

A powerful genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out of his magical cage.

The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you a wish. BUT, I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I've never been able to go because I cannot stand flying in an airplane, and boats tend to make me claustrophobic. So for my wish, I want a road to be built to Hawaii."

The genie thought about the road for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Just imagine all the pavement needed. No, I'm sorry, but that is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then decided on his second choice. The man said, "There IS one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, and why are they so difficult to get along with. Basically, I'd like to know what makes them tick."

The genie pondered the request for a moment, and finally said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"