Hilarious Comments U Will Enjoy

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact, you can see it all over their faces.'

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

9.Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his fiancee takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'       

Courtesy: Martha Northrup

 

Virtues Of An Avid Golfer

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.

"I'm dying here and you're putting?" "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you.

"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.

"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.

Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"

The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day,is it?

Courtesy : Martha Northrup

Mother of all Blunders

It seems that a young man volunteered for Navy service
during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for
aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola, skipping boot
camp. The very first day at Pensacola, he soloed and was the
best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his
gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier
in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly
shot down six Japanese zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000
ft., he found nine more Japanese planes and shot them all
down, too. Noting that his fuel was getting low, he
descended, circled the carrier, and came in for a perfect
landing on the deck.

He threw back the canopy, climbed out, and jogged over to
the captain. Saluting smartly, he said, "Well, sir, how did
I do on my very first day?"

The captain turned around, bowed, and replied, "You make one
velly impoltant mistake!"
 
Courtesy: Big Mac Clean Joke Attack.