Sometimes when I reflect back
on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass
and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work
and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It
is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true
than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
"I feel sorry for people
who don't drink. When they Wake up in the morning, that's as good
as they're going to feel all day."
~Frank Sinatra
"When I read about the
evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case . Coincidence? I think
not."
~ Stephen Wright
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall
asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no
sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with
pizza."
~ Dave Barry
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a
can!
~Dave Howell
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of
Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the
Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted,
it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed
first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps
improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much
the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest
and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of
beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster
and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter
after a few beers."
Courtesy: Martha Northrup
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