Tit-bits

While replacing some roof tiles, my friend fell from a ladder.
His ankle broken, he called out for help and his neighbor's
four-year-old came to his side.
"Don't worry," she said, disappearing into her house.
Minutes later she returned in her nurse's outfit, carrying a
medical bag.
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It must have taken a lot of courage to discover that frogs'
legs are edible.
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Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on
the same side
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I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.

No extra please!

The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important
convention, so he asked his top engineer to write him
a punchy, 20-minute speech.
When the CEO returned from the big event, he
was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an
hour-long speech?!? Half the audience walked
out before I finished."

The engineer replied. "I wrote you a 20-minute
speech. I also gave you the two extra copies
you asked for."

SOB!

An elderly gentleman was reviewing his records at the hospital
where I work. He expressed some concern at one notation. "I
know I'm a bit difficult at times, but I didn't realize I was
that bad," he said to me apologetically. "I hope I didn't
offend anyone."
 
Then I explained the acronym in question meant "Short Of Breath".