Left-handed!

A husband asked his wife, "If I should die first, would you
marry again?"

"I would be heart-broken, of course," was her reply, "but I
think eventually I would remarry."

"But you wouldn't bring him here to our house, would you?"

"Why not? I've worked and slaved to make this house a home.
There is no reason to abandon it."

"But you wouldn't sleep in our bed?"

"Well, I wouldn't run out and buy a new bed right away."

"Surely, you wouldn't let him use my golf clubs?"

"Of course not! He's left-handed!"

Courtesy: Fran CMT2.

Modern Lexicon!

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at
one end and a fool on the other.


Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes
of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through the minds of either.


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power


Dictionary: A place where success comes before work

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens and everybody disagrees later on


Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight

Office: A place where you go to relax after your
strenuous home life


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open
their mouth.

Laugh And Enjoy Grandpa's Answering Machine

At present we are not at home. If you are one of
our children, dial 1 followed by the order of
"birth arrival" so we know who it is.


If you need us to stay with your kids, press 2.


If you want to borrow the car, press 3.


If you want us to wash your clothes and do the
ironing, press 4.


If you want the grandchildren to sleep here
tonight, press 5.


If you want us to pick up the kids at school,
press 6.


If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or
to deliver it to your home, press 7.


If you want to come to eat here, press 8.


If you need money, press 9.


If you are going to invite us to dinner, a
movie or a show, start talking. We are]
listening!"

Courtesy: Daily Humour