Laugh heartily - 2

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight
shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when
you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because
by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain
consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health ... when my thighs kept
rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while
and it shrinks two sizes!



Courtesy: Arca Max

Caution! is the word

There was an unexpected knock on my door, and as I
always do I first opened the peephole and asked,
"Who's there?" "UPS, ma'am. I have a package that
needs a signature."
"Where's the package?" I asked suspiciously.
The delivery man held it up.
"Could I see some ID?" I said, still not convinced.
"Lady," he replied wearily, "if I wanted to break
into your house, I'd probably just use these." And
he pulled out the keys I had left in the door.

Scientific thoughts!

It is so hot in some parts of the world that the
people there have to live in other places.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still
knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let
them know we know they are there.
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a
dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.