Sarcastic Grucho Marx - 4

Don't look now, but there's one too many in
this room and I think it's you.
 
[as Dr. Quackenbush taking a pulse] Either this
man is dead or my watch has stopped.
 
From the moment I picked your book up until I
laid it down I was convulsed with laughter.
Someday I intend reading it.
 
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot
but don't let that fool you. He really is an
idiot
 
How do you feel about women's rights? I like
either side of them.
 
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago.
I shot my broker.

What an unique Lover!

A girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, "Granny, what is a lover ?"

"A lover!!" the grandmother said. "Let me think. Lov... Lover... Oh, my God!"



She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a hidden closet door.

She unlocked the door, and a skeleton of a young man fell out from the closet.

Hilarious Sharp Shooters - 1

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."

"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"

My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.

They call our language the mother tongue
because the father seldom gets to speak.

"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
"Please wait someone else is using it."