Friday, 20 September 2013

Lord! Have Mercy! He is going into Politics!

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting high time  the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men of his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem  too concerned about it.

 One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an  experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four  objects:

1. A Bible,
2. A silver dollar,

3. A bottle of whiskey,
4. And a Playboy magazine.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's footsteps as he  entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his  books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them, looking at each for  several minutes. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his  arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He  uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's  centerfold.

"Lord have mercy!" the old preacher prayed. "He's going into politics!!"

Thursday, 19 September 2013

How each one spoils the other!

Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like
cottage cheese.

 

Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look
like cheddar cheese.

 

Cheddar cheese is spoiled when it starts to look
like bleu cheese but you never bought bleu cheese.

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

Enjoy Grucho Marx - 1


I must say that I find television very educational.
The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the
library and read a book.

I sent the club a wire stating, Please accept my
resignation. I don't care to belong to any club
that will have me as a member.

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of
extreme poverty.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this
wasn't it.

Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How
he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

Marriage is a wonderful institution ... but who
wants to live in an institution?


Courtesy:BW Jokes