Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Your True Friend!

It can buy you a House
But not a Home

It can buy you a Bed
But not Sleep

It can buy you a Clock
But not Time

It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge

It can buy you a Position
But not Respect

It can buy you Medicine
But not Health

It can buy you Blood
But not Life

So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain
and suffering.

I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your
Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...

So send me all your money, and I will suffer for you.

A truer Friend you will never find


Courtesy:  Thomas S. Ellsworth.

Monday, 11 March 2013

So Generous

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. 

The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.

 "Only a shilling?" said the man. "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 more of them."

Sunday, 10 March 2013

CHANGE COURSE

One night the captain of a tanker saw a light dead ahead. He directed his signalman to flash a signal to the light which went.....
'Change course 10 degrees South.'
The reply was quickly flashed back...
'You change course 10 degrees North.'
The captain was a little annoyed at this reply and sent a further message.....
'I am a captain. Change course 10 degrees South.'
Back came the reply....
'I am an able-seaman. Change course 10 degrees North.'
The captain was outraged at this reply and send a message....
'I am a 240,000 tonne tanker. CHANGE course 10 degrees South!'
Back came the reply.......
'I am a LIGHTHOUSE. Change course 10 degrees North!!!!'