Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Express Wish!

I work in a personnel office with the government in
Washington, DC, reviewing applications for federal
employment.

The standard form includes the question, "Why did you leave
your previous employment?"

One applicant, a former U.S. Congressman, responded, "The
express wish of 116,000 voters."

Courtesy:  Thomas Ellsworth.

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

I Like The Way U Think

This is a story about Johnnie's day at school....Johnnie's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."
Johnnie raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I know it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnnie, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."
Next the teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnnie's teacher.
Johnnie raised his hand again and said, "Teacher, teacher, I know it's an orange rubber ball." The teacher looked at Johnnie and said, "No Johnnie, it's an orange, but I like the way that you think."
Johnnie was now getting the hang of it so he asked the teacher if he could try one. Johnnie grabbed an object and put it behind his back and said, "I have something behind my back. It's pink in color and it's LONG. It's soft, but it's HARD."
The teacher, getting upset, yelled at Johnnie, "Now Johnnie, I'm going to have to tell the principal about this perverted behavior." Johnnie stopped her and said, "But, teacher all I have is my pink eraser, but I like the way that you THINK!!!"

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Dirt Cheap!

Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person. "However, if you're over 65," he said, " the price will be only $5.50."
 

From the back of the congregation, a woman's voice rang out,"Do you really think I'd give you that information for only 50 cents?"
 

Courtesy: Thomas Ellsworth.