LAUGH AND ENJOY THE HUMOUR

A student walks into a car showroom and after a long talk with a salesman, he picks the car he wants to buy.
-- ``Do you have the cash to pay for it, Sir, or will you be making a hire purchase agreement?''
-- ``I'll buy it on HP, thanks.''
So the student dictates his details to the salesman, who fills in the HP application. Then, to the salesman's astonishment, he signs at the bottom of the form with a big cross and a little cross.
-- ``What are these crosses?''
-- ``Well, the big cross is my name and the little cross is `BSc (Agriculture).'''

AMAZING AND HILARIOUS IF TRUE - LAST PART

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."  (Advertising/ Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

“Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."  (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day. We've been working on it for months.  Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."  (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/ 3M Corp)

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) 

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said,"That would be better for me."
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching Supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

Courtesy: Martha Northrup

What A Loving Wife!

NEWS FLASH: Friday evening. A notorious murderer has just escaped from Texas State Prison. Police advise members of the public that they should not approach him at any costs,but report any sightings to their nearest police station.
 
NEWS FLASH: Saturday afternoon. The convict who escaped from Texas State Prison late Friday evening is safely back in custody after surrendering himself to police early this morning.
 

When asked why he gave himself up after his first taste of freedom for twelve years, the con replied, "When I finally got home, the first thing my wife asked me was, 'Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago.'"
 
 Courtesy: ArcaMax Jokes.