What A Loving Wife!

NEWS FLASH: Friday evening. A notorious murderer has just escaped from Texas State Prison. Police advise members of the public that they should not approach him at any costs,but report any sightings to their nearest police station.
 
NEWS FLASH: Saturday afternoon. The convict who escaped from Texas State Prison late Friday evening is safely back in custody after surrendering himself to police early this morning.
 

When asked why he gave himself up after his first taste of freedom for twelve years, the con replied, "When I finally got home, the first thing my wife asked me was, 'Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago.'"
 
 Courtesy: ArcaMax Jokes.

SARCASTIC HUMOUR ON POLITICS

During his recent visit to the UK Mikhail Gorbachev was taken on a tour of a typical British factory by the Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher.
The tour started at 9:00 am and the factory was just starting to fill with employees...
GORBY: "What these people do?"
MAGGIE: "Oh, they are just starting work!"
GORBY: "AAAARRggghhh! In Russia, start at 5:00 am"
So, they walk around for a while, viewing some machinery and at 10:30 a hooter sounds and the factory workers leave.
G: "Where they go?"
M: "Oh, it is morning tea time. They have a break for 20 minutes."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! In Russia, no morning tea."
At 12:00 noon the two VIP's are viewing plans for a new factory and a hooter sounds and the factory workers leave, again.
G: "Where they go now?"
M: "Oh, it is lunch time. They take a break for an hour."
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! One hour. In Russia, is ten minutes lunch."
At precisely 2:15 pm a hooter sounds, and again the workers leave the factory.
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! Another break, nyet?"
M: "Yes, another break. They get 20 minutes afternoon smoke!"
At 4:30 pm another hooter sounds and the factory grinds to a halt.
G: "AAAArrrggghhhh! Another break?"
M: "No, they've finished for the day."
G: "In Russia start at 5:00 am, no breaks, ten minutes lunch, no breaks, work till 7:00 pm at night. Right through, no breaks. Why you not make them work harder?"
M: "Oh, we can't do that!"
G: "Why you can't make them work harder?"
M: "Because they're all communists."

LAUGH AND ENJOY

"Vernon, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to
the little boy while holding out her hand.
 
"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.
 
 
"Vernon, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you
really expect me to believe that?"
 
"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted the boy. "I had
to force him, but he ate it!"
 
 Courtesy: Thomas Ellsworth.