THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEORY & PRACTICE

In theory the difference between practice and theory is due to practical considerations that theorists find it impractical to fit into their theories.

In practice, theory uses the practice of theorising about practical matters, while not noticing that the theoretical method practically distorts the theory beyond application to practice.

Theoretically then the practical facts are that the theory is in practice good for predicting what happens in theory, but impractical as a theory with direct implications for practice, except where theory states that the practice is sufficiently close to the theory to make any difference for all practical purposes theoreticaly zero.

In practice this does not happen very often. 

Collected:

HOW TO AVOID LUNG-DISEASE

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.

They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.
 

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
 

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", she replied.


NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary i which is supposed to mean lung-disease;
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (45 letters).

Courtesy: Martha Northrup

 

TERRIBLE SUNDAY!

A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when
he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes, and
quarters.

Finally his mother asked the obvious question: "Where did
you get all that money?"

"At Sunday school," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have
bowls of it."