Dear All

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma stinks.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo!
it." Just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there
because some Spanish dirtbags invaded our country and we got
a little busy, OK?
Sincerely,
The Mayans  

 Courtesy: nat.

Win 2 Lose

The Ferrari F1 Racing Team recently fired the whole pit crew
to employ some young unemployed youths from Liverpool. The
decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how
unemployed youths in the Liverpool area can remove a set of
car wheels in less than four seconds without proper
equipment. This was thought to be a good move as most races
are won and lost in the pits these days, and Ferrari would
thus have an advantage.

However, Ferrari soon encountered a major problem: Not only
were the lads changing the tires in under four seconds, but
within another ten seconds had also repainted, renumbered,
and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team.  
 Courtesy: Steve Sanderson.

Kept Him Awake

Two CPAs were returning home from a client meeting. They
took the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were
occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle.
They continued their discussion of the knotty tax problem
that had been the subject of their client meeting through
takeoff and meal service.

Finally, one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to
trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.

After switching seats, one CPA said to the other that it was
the first time a tax discussion ever kept anyone awake.
 Courtesy: Clean-Laffs.