Win 2 Lose

The Ferrari F1 Racing Team recently fired the whole pit crew
to employ some young unemployed youths from Liverpool. The
decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how
unemployed youths in the Liverpool area can remove a set of
car wheels in less than four seconds without proper
equipment. This was thought to be a good move as most races
are won and lost in the pits these days, and Ferrari would
thus have an advantage.

However, Ferrari soon encountered a major problem: Not only
were the lads changing the tires in under four seconds, but
within another ten seconds had also repainted, renumbered,
and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team.  
 Courtesy: Steve Sanderson.

Kept Him Awake

Two CPAs were returning home from a client meeting. They
took the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were
occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle.
They continued their discussion of the knotty tax problem
that had been the subject of their client meeting through
takeoff and meal service.

Finally, one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to
trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.

After switching seats, one CPA said to the other that it was
the first time a tax discussion ever kept anyone awake.
 Courtesy: Clean-Laffs.

Simply Hilarious

To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read:
'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it.

One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that dead bird'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

While looking at a house, my brother asked the Real Estate agent which direction was north because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

Courtesy: Martha Northrup