Simply Hilarious

To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read:
'Fridge for sale $50.'

The next day someone stole it.

One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that dead bird'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'

While looking at a house, my brother asked the Real Estate agent which direction was north because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

Courtesy: Martha Northrup 

Brief Blond Blurbs

 Two blondes living in the Midwest were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'


A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly..
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'


There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.' 

Courtesy: Randy C.

Too Impressive !

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very swank
and impressive Italian restaurant.

He ordered one of the more expensive bottles of wine on the
menu, and the two chatted as they sipped from their glasses.

Finally, he picked up the menu again and studied it with a
fine eye. When the waiter came for the order, the young man
confidently said, "We'll both have the Guiseppe
Spomdalucci."

"I'm sorry, sir," said the waiter, "but that's the owner."
 

 Courtesy: Doc's Daily Chuckle.