HOW TO CREATE ATTRACTION

Deer Kill 17,000

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire

Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

HOW TO MAINTAIN FAMILY PEACE

The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys.
I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... "I
promise!"

Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down
way too easy. At 3 am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall
started up and cuckooed three times.

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed
another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having
such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a
possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I
told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got
away with that one, I thought!

Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked
her why she said, "Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times,
then said, 'Oh crap,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its
throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice
more."
 
Courtesy: Dalton Green

HOW TO UTILISE A DEGREE

My parents scoffed, but I knew my college degree in geology
would come in handy one day. It was during basic training,
at Sheppard Field, Texas, and I was pulling KP duty. When
the sergeant asked me what I did in civilian life, I proudly
announced that I was a geologist.

"Good. I'm looking for someone with your background," he
said, while dropping a bulging sack onto the table. "You've
got just the right qualifications to pick the rocks out of
this hundred pounds of beans."

 Courtesy: Doc's Daily Chuckle.