FUNNY HEADLINES TO MAKE U LAUGH - PART II

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

How To Maintain Neutrality

Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame
was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a
football player told the priest that he had acted in an
unsportsmanlike manner at a recent football game. "I lost my
temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents."

"Ahhh, that's a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be
doin'," the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a
mark across the sleeve of his coat.

"That's not all, Father. I got mad and punched one of my
opponents."

"Saints preserve us!" the priest said, making another chalk
mark.

"There's more. As I got out of a pileup, I kicked two of the
other team's players in the knee."

"Oh, goodness me!" the priest wailed, making two more chalk
marks on his sleeve. "Who in the world were we playin' when
you did these awful things?"

"Southern Methodist."

"Ah, well," said the priest, wiping his sleeve, "boys will
be boys."  

 Courtesy: Andychap.

HUMOUROUS NEWSPAPER HEADLINES OF 1997 - PART I

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Include Your Children when Baking Cookies

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops Off Shelf