Sunday 3 November 2013

Never divulge your dreams!

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.

After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled: "The meaning of dreams".

Saturday 2 November 2013

Tech Support - 5


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears.
 
Customer: I have a problem with my printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door,but that is a
good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me
is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

Friday 1 November 2013

Non-believer!

On a sunny Sabbath afternoon in Miami Beach, two old
friends met for the first time in years. After an
exchange of the usual pleasantries, as they sat on a
beachfront bench, Jacob's expression grew somber and
he said, "Shmuel, people are telling me you don't go
to shul any more. Can it be true that you no longer
believe in God?"

Shmuel looked uncomfortable, and hurriedly changed the
subject.

The next afternoon, the old friends met on the beach
again."You must tell me, Shmuel, don't you believe in
our God any more?"

Shmuel replied, "Here is a straight answer to a
straight question. No, I don't."

"Why didn't you tell me that yesterday?"

"God forbid. On Sabbath?"