Hilarious Sharp Shooters - 3

"Look, guide, here are some lion tracks."
"Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."

"Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky."

A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas,
wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

"Has there been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes, doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."

I was thinking of becoming a doctor.
I have the handwriting for it.

Me neither!

Every day when he went to the stable to ride his horse,
John, he would call out, "Hey there, John, old buddy,
how's everything today?" before he'd bridle the horse.
One day he started the usual, "Hey there, John ..."
when, to his surprise, the horse interrupted, saying
"For months now, you've been walking in here and
saying, 'Hey there, John, old buddy, how's everything
today?' I want you to know I'm sick of it. You never
wait for an answer, and besides, my name is Randy!"
With that, the horse took off running. Shocked, the
owner took off after the horse, trying to catch it.
Seeing the pursuit, his dog joined the chase. After a
while the man, exhausted, stopped to rest at the side
of the road. He took out his handkerchief and wiped
his face as his dog, who had continued the chase, came
back, also now breathless, and sat down beside him.
The man wondered aloud, "I've never heard a horse talk
before!"
"Me neither!" said the dog.

Sure way to find parking space!

Wayne was returning home from a business trip, bags in hand,and slowly making his way to his vehicle in the crowded airport garage. Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a  stop in front of Wayne, and the driver pointed menacingly at  him. "Get in," the driver ordered. "I'll take you to your car."
 
Startled, Wayne took a step backward. "Ah ... no thanks," he answered. "I can get there myself."
"No!" the man barked back as he threw open his passenger side door. "Get In!"
 
Wayne's eyes now darted around the garage, hoping to find a security guard.
 
Just then, the driver's face softened. "Please," he said,
"I've been driving up and down for two hours. I can't find a space to park and I want yours."
 
Courtesy: Becky Day.