Tuesday 4 September 2012

Can Stop Any Moment

One day a mechanic was working late under a car and some
brake fluid dripped into his mouth. "Wow! That stuff isn't
too bad tasting," he thought. Next day he told his buddy
about tasting the brake fluid. "Not bad," he said. "I think
I'll have a little more today." His friend was a little
concerned but didn't say anything.

Next day the mechanic told his friend about drinking a cup

full of the brake fluid. "Great stuff! I think I'll have
some more today." And so he did. A few days later, he was up
to a bottle a day, and he told his friend, "This brake fluid
is really great stuff."

His friend was now really worried. "You know that brake

fluid is poison and is really bad for you. You'd better stop
drinking that stuff."

"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time."

 

 Courtesy: FranCMT2.

Monday 3 September 2012

Drinking, Gambling, and Golf

A man was walking in the city, when he was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking bum who asked him for
a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars, and

asked, "If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy
whiskey?"

"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the bum said.


"Will you use it to gamble?"


"I don't gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay

alive."

"Will you spend the money on greens fees at a golf course?"


"Are you NUTS! I haven't played golf in 20 years!"


The man said, "Well, I'm not going to give you two dollars.

Instead, I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific
dinner cooked by my wife."

The bum was astounded.


"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know

I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad."

The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a

man looks like who's given up drinking, gambling, and golf."
 

Courtesy: ArcaMax Jokes.

 

Sunday 2 September 2012

PROFITABLE MISTAKE

A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25(cents) each
-- three for a dollar."

All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be

ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"

Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants.

The tailor next door had been watching these antics and
finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the
mistake on your sign?"

"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign

no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
 Courtesy: Thomas Ellsworth.